Chapter 25 - Sophie visits Caroline
Caroline was buried in a cemetery two hours away.
Sophie asked to go.
We waited until therapist believed she was ready.
Emily and I took her.
Lily stayed with grandparents.
At grave, Sophie carried flowers.
Not dramatic roses.
Yellow daisies from grocery store because Caroline liked them.
She placed them down.
Then sat.
I stood back.
Emily farther back.
Sophie said:
“Mom, I found them.”
That sentence nearly broke me.
Then:
“Lily is loud.”
Accurate.
Then:
“Emily makes pancakes.”
Also accurate.
She talked for five minutes.
About school.
Her new room.
A rabbit she wanted but did not have.
Then she looked at us.
“Come here.”
We did.
She took Emily’s hand.
Then mine.
“This is my mom Caroline.”
Emily said:
“I know.”
Sophie looked at grave.
“This is Emily.”
My wife smiled through tears.
“Hi, Caroline.”
No claim.
No replacement.
Then Sophie said:
“And Daddy Ryan.”
I whispered:
“Thank you for taking care of her.”
I did not know if speaking to dead changed anything.
It changed me.
Caroline had been placed in impossible position by clinic failure.
She had loved Sophie.
When she discovered truth, she tried to handle it carefully.
She died before she could finish.
Nothing in our legal victory made her less Sophie’s mother.
On drive home, Sophie slept.
Emily stared out window.
Then said:
“I thought I would feel jealous forever.”
“Do you?”
“Sometimes.”
“Me too.”
“Of a dead woman?”
“Yes.”
She nodded.
Human.
May you like
Not noble.
Just human.
