Chapter 17 - THE FIRST TIME LIVIA SEES BIANCA
Livia was eight when she asked:
“Is Bianca still alive?”
I laughed despite myself.
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Boston.”
“Does she still hate me?”
“I don’t think she ever hated you.”
Livia frowned.
“Then why?”
Hard question.
I said:
“She wanted things from me and got angry that you were important too.”
“That dumb.”
“Yes.”
Then:
“Can I see her?”
I did not answer immediately.
Dr. Morris helped us plan.
Neutral office.
Forty minutes.
No physical contact unless Livia initiated.
Bianca arrived early.
No diamonds.
No wedding-white symbolism.
Just a woman in a gray dress looking terrified of an eight-year-old.
“Hi, Livia.”
“Hi.”
Then silence.
Livia asked:
“Why dog?”
Bianca closed her eyes briefly.
“Because I wanted to make you feel small.”
“Why?”
“Because I felt small.”
Livia thought.
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“No.”
Good.
Then:
“Did you like Daddy?”
“Yes.”
“Still?”
Bianca looked at me.
Then back at Livia.
“I care about him. But that relationship is over.”
“Because hair?”
“Because of what I chose to do.”
Specific.
Then Livia asked:
“Can you touch my hair?”
Every adult froze.
Bianca did not move.
“Only if you want.”
Livia thought.
“No.”
Bianca nodded.
The meeting ended five minutes later.
No hug.
No reconciliation performance.
Outside, Livia said:
“She looks normal.”
I understood.
May you like
Villains in childhood imagination are supposed to look different.
Adults rarely do.
